The Angel, the Devil and the Agnostic

Angel_TheDevilandtheAgnostic.mp3

Me- I like to claim I’m agnostic
It’s a label I identify with pretty solidly
But I’ve lived my whole life on a steady diet of
Bullshit and denial,
Circular patterns of reinforcement,
Black coffee, aspirin, alcohol and vicadin
I Split my time evenly
Between getting sober and getting drunk
I have this devil on my shoulder
And he drinks and drinks and drinks
He whispers in my ear sometimes
And tells me what he thinks
I aim my car homeward
And he grabs the wheel and steers
And when I wake a week from then
Piecing together where I’ve been
Hearing about me from my friends
I shrug my shoulders and pour myself a beer.
There are no atheists in the trenches
Truth be told
I’m closest to god upon take-off and landing
Agnosticism- that typically American religion
That is my one true vice.

I call myself an agnostic
That’s something I can wear proudly
Alone in my individuality
I celebrate my solidarity loudly
I’m anti-everything
From Walmart to Starbucks to Christianity
(Trademarks not withstanding)
Even so- I can’t deny some ethereal presence
Sometimes I call it “living a charmed life”
Other times its just luck
Or destiny
There’s this angel on my shoulder
Annoying as fuck over there in my peripheral vision
But she gets me to close out my tab and makes sure my wallet is in my pocket
She gets me to the car and guides me home down narrow roads
Through red lights and one-way streets
and parks me safely on the neighbor’s lawn
gets me down the stairs to my basement entrance
She never chides me for my digressions
Just throws my hat in the refrigerator
Turns off most of the burners and locks the front door
And tucks me in on the bathroom floor
Safe and sound

Angel_TheDevilandtheAgnostic.mp3